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The Sassy Sandpiper: The Eyes Have It

Merry's Eyes | M.R. Wilson | Sassy Sandpiper

The Sassy Sandpiper contemplates upcoming eye surgery.

By M.R. Wilson, Columnist, TB Reporter

I hope you like my little joke, my play on words: “The eyes have it.” It’s a pun, the lowest form of humor, according to English writer Samuel Johnson. The actual statement, “The ayes have it!” declares the “yes” votes win, especially in the British Parliament.

The eyes in question are mine. What they have is glaucoma, a hereditary disease that can damage the optic nerve. My eyes also grew cataracts.

“Grew” isn’t an accurate term; what happens is better described as a clouding of the normally clear lens. The cataract in my right eye is approaching the equivalent of a thunder squall—darkening and ominous. Left untreated, both conditions cause vision loss.

This coming Thursday, June 27, I will undergo two surgical procedures, one to ease the ocular pressure that causes glaucoma and the other to remove the cataract. I’ll get a custom-fitted lens composed of a miracle plastic my body won’t reject. In a few days, my vision should be much improved in my right eye.

It’s the interim healing period (three weeks or so before the left eye can be done), contending with the imbalance of one “fixed” eye and one “broken” eye, that I wonder about most. I am extremely near-sighted—myopic— legally blind. My glasses will be useless. I doubt I’ll be able to drive. Will I be able to read or write? Use a computer? Just being around the house shouldn’t pose a problem. I can see well enough not to trip over the cats.

I imagine life as a Cyclops. Maybe I’ll get a pirate’s eye patch — AAARRR!

When both eyes are healed, I might only need glasses for reading, and drops to control glaucoma might no longer be necessary.

So begins my summer of uncertainty. See you in September.

Maybe sooner.

Wink | Eyes | TB Reporter

M.R. Wilson | Cataracts | Glaucoma | Eyesight | Sassy Sandpiper | Tampabay News | News Tampa

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